The Lost Years
by Kireshai
Summary: The two years that Shuichi and Yuki had with their daughter, before death separated them. Fill in drabbles for A Long Lost Father and Lover. Read long lost first, or it won't make much sense. Shuki, mpreg. Project Terminated due to wane in interest.
1. I hate her

**The Lost Years**

A/N: Yes, this is it!! The moment all the people who read long lost have been waiting for. It is the lost years, a chronicle of the, what, 2, 3? years that Yuki and Shuichi spent together during long lost. It's not a storyline, because I don't have it in me, but a collection of drabbles that I will write. I want to write about 30, and I want anyone who stumbles upon this story to read long lost, which contains 3 drabbles as well as a proper storyline that this takes off from.

My first drabble for the collection is after the wedding, but before sick, and those of you who have read long lost should know what I'm talking about. And now, onto the formalities:

Disclaimer: NOT MINE, so go sue someone else.

Warnings: M-preg(of course), lots of swearing(Yuki's POV) Only T!! YaY!!

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Drabble 1: I hate her.

YUKI'S P.O.V.

I fucking hate kids. Y'know, I'd never realised it... Until I started living with one. I swear it, that little bitch is the bane of my existence. I said that to Shuichi the other day. Worst mistake in my goddam life. Not only did he yell at me for it, oh no, he's also refusing sex for two weeks! The little bugger! And just so I don't do anything to him, he's sleeping in HER room every night. AND they lock the door.

Shuichi also says I'm not allowed to refer to her using feminine pronouns, or he'll castrate me. Owww... I don't see why I should use her name, but Shuichi says it's obvious. She's my daughter.

Damn her and her chromosomes. Why do half of them have to be identical to mine? I still think he got it wrong. She's nothing like me. Not at all. Sometimes, I wish she'd go and shoot herself. I'd be happier if she did. But Shuichi wouldn't be. He'd probably abstain from sex for life. I can't begin to think how horrible that'd be.

He simply grovels at that bitch's feet. Forget mine. He's got someone new to worship, and I don't even exist anymore. Except when I say something bad about her. No, then I'm very, very real, and in very, very deep shit. I bet he's some kind of incestual pedophile, and that's the reason why he ignores me... he's getting it somewhere else.

Urgh... gross thought. Anyway, back to the point. It's not a good idea to bitch about the limpet, so I'll stop. But really... she is a limpet. No matter what I do, I can't get rid of her. She's worse than Shuichi.

Oh god, here she comes. The friggin' mollusc has come to attach itself again.

"Bugger off, cretin." I growl at her, scowling with all of my heart. "I'm trying to write a novel."

"If you keep on calling me names, FATHER, I'll tell papa again." She smiles sweetly at me, but I can see behind those pretty purple eyes, and that perfect blonde hair. She's plotting something, and she will have her way, no matter what I do. Sometimes I wish she weren't my daughter, just because she might not be so smart if she wasn't.

"You won't tell Shuichi anything, HIKARI."

"Good boy." God, I hate it when she says that. "Anyway, I was wondering if you were going anywhere tomorrow."

"No, I'm not, because I'll still be writing this book. In fact, if you don't leave right now, I won't be fucking finished until the year three thousand and twenty." Heh heh... Take that one, you primpy little scallop.

"Manners, Father." She moves forwards, sitting on my desk, between me and my computer. "So, I was wondering if you could take me to Harajuku tomorrow, because Daddy's so busy with recording and all." Ahah! I knew she wanted something. The spoilt little crab.

"No, I CANNOT take you to Harajuku tomorrow." I continue to glare at her, trying to show how much I hate her with the one look. She doesn't pick it up. Or, if she does, she ignores it. Still, I wonder which technique she will try next, groveling, or blackmail.

"But, Daddyyyy..." Oh god, not the effing whine. "I haven't been there in sooo long, and you haven't taken me anywhere since we came back to Japan..." She's lying, of course. I've taken her to Yokohama, Mt. Fuji, the giant Buddha, thousands of shinto shrines around Tokyo, Tokyo Disneyland, Kobe, Osaka, Nagoya, and she forced me into taking her to Kyoto to see her grandparents, when she knew perfectly well I don't like seeing them.

"Go ask uncle Tatsuha to take you." I am NOT giving in to her this time. I will not give in to the cute look she makes with her beautiful eyes, and I will not give in to the way she smiles so charmingly at me. "I'm too busy."

"But Daddyyyy... Uncle Tatsuha is in Hokkaido performing a memorial service and won't be back until Monday, and I need to go tomorrooow." She's fluttering her eyelashes prettily at me, pouting now, doing everything she can to make me fall in love with her. Still, I resist her, the evil little clam.

"No. I will NOT go with you. Leave me alone." She's figured begging isn't going to work. So, she changes tactics quick as lightning.

"Fine then." She stands huffily. "I'm just going to go tell Dad that you called me a cretin and used bad words. I'll see you later." She starts to strut out of the room.

"Okay, okay, fine, I'll take you to Harajuku tomorrow. Just don't tell Shuichi what I said." That would definitely make him abstain for life.

I cover my ears as she shrieks loudly, jumping on me and hugging me ferociously. When she stands up, she grins mischievously at me, then skips happily out of the room. As she disappears through the doorway, I smile in spite of myself. Well, maybe having a kid isn't that bad, when they can plot and get their own way like that. I wouldn't mind giving in for the rest of my life, if only to see that grin. The little mischievous one that I love, not only on her, but on the man who gave it to her.

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A/N. One last thing. On my last story, I had a stalker named Zero Cool. If that person finds this story and reads it, I have something to say to them:

Stop reviewing my stories. You're a waste of review space. I'm trying to write fanfiction, not hold a war for art.(That's what I do in the rest of my time.) And just because you were wondering. I didn't answer your reviews because the story was over, idiot! I didn't have anything else to write. Why would I be scared of you? To me, all you are is pixels. Black pixels on an empty computer screen. You're not that frightening.


	2. I hear

The Lost Years

A/N: second drabble in the lost years, fill in for 'a long lost father and lover', my other gravitation fanfiction. Thanks go to the 3(!!!) People who reviewed the previous drabble. Everyone else, I hate you. Nah, I'm kidding, but review this drabble, 'cos I appreciate reviews, in fact, I promise to IM a reply to every registered review for this chapter!! Well, I'll get on with this drabble. It is the cliched rain drabble, but maybe not so cliched... oh well. Please, read on.

Disclaimer: Nuh-uh, not mine.

Warnings: m-preg(still...), maybe swearing..

Rating: PG13+

Drabble 2: I hear.

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EIRI'S P.O.V. 

I can hear the patter of rain on the roof as I place my house keys on the table, and if I strain my hearing, I can hear the swishing made by the trees as they are blown in the gale. It is a beautiful sound, the sound of rain. Almost the most beautiful in the world. However, the most beautiful is...

"EIRIIIIIIII!!!!" Ah, here it comes. "I MISSED YOU!!!" And then, of course, the wind is knocked out of me as he hits me full on. I don't understand how he associates hugging with this... attack.

"You'll miss me a lot more if you kill me, Shuichi. And you're going to, at this rate." My words have got him thinking. He's sitting down on the floor, and is thinking painfully. VERY painfully. I sigh, and stand up. "I'm going to take a shower, and then I'll be in the bedroom if you need me."

I start to walk away, when he grabs my hand, rather tight. "You're not gonna die?" Shuichi seems extremely worried. "You're not... ill, are you?"

I kneel so that our faces are level, and kiss him softly. "Of course I'm not." I scowl at him. "Silly brat."

As I start to stand up, he pulls me back towards him, and kisses me fiercely. The force of his pull sends me tumbling on top of him, and I roll to the side as we continue to kiss. Unable to breathe, I pull away, and sit up. I glare at him before standing once again, and walking to the bathroom. As I reach the door, I speak to him, my back still turned. "Of course not. Dying would mean leaving you."

I undress quickly and slip into the steaming jets of water. As I wash myself, I listen to the sounds around me. I hear the sound of the water slamming into the tiles beneath my feet, and, if I listen hard, I hear the whoosh of the wind and the patter of the rain on the roof. But above the rain, I hear another sound. The most beautiful sound in the world. Because, above the rain, I can hear Shuichi's voice, as he sings his heart to me.

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A/N: Another drabble done! Well, these stories are just leaking out of me! As said before, I will love anyone who reviews!! 


	3. Bells

**The Lost Years**

A/N: Hey everyone, this was the first of my series of epilogues. I'm reposting here for convenience

Anyway, disclaimer: NOT MINE!!!

Warnings: swearing, slash, beginnings of a sex scene.

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Drabble 3: Bells.

Shuichi tapped a spoon against his glass. When the people in the large room heard, they quietened, and turned their heads towards him attentively. "As you know." He spoke warmly, smiling at the crowd. "This is out semi-wedding-receptiony-dinnery... thing."

Most of the crowd laughed at his phrasing. "And now, we come, in fact, to the semi-wedding part of the evening." He looked down at the man sitting next to him, then looked up again. "As you are aware, under national law, and due to the... nature, of our relationship, we are not legally permitted to wed."

The crowd 'awwed' in disappointment, but Shuichi continued to smile, and they quietened in favour of hearing the end of the speech.

"And so, we call on our resident monk, Tatsuha, who seems a little too eager, if you ask me, to do the job." There was wide spread applause at this announcement, and Tatsuha stood, walking to the center of the large room. Shuichi pulled Eiri up from sitting next to him, and they stumbled to stand in front of Tatsuha.

Tatsuha spoke. "Okay, hold hands." They did so, and he spoke to the entirety of the large room. "Does anyone know any impediments or other such shit?" The entire room shook their heads in unison, and Tatsuha grinned. "Well then, Eiri, do you?"

"Yeah, I guess so..."

"Shuichi, do you?"

"Actually, after hearing his answer, I think I've changed my mind." Shuichi pouted, and started to step away.

"Fine!! I do! Do you like that?" Eiri shouted.

"I do!" Shuichi said, while grinning.

Tatsuha called. "Well, I guess you're marr-" He was cut off by what they were doing. "Hey! Could you wait to kiss until after I tell you to?"

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"Shuichi..." Eiri whispered into the ear of the man next to him. "I want to go to sleep."

"Shh." Shuichi hissed whilst reading. "I'm trying to read. Just go to sleep already."

"I can't sleep with the light on. Besides, people are supposed to have a terrific fuck on their wedding night. Are you gonna deny me that?" He licked the shell of the younger man's ear.

Shuichi shivered, but held firm. "We had an abnormal wedding. We can have an abnormal wedding night. I do NOT feel like being buggered."

Eiri decided it wasn't worth arguing over. Grabbing the book from Shuichi's hand, he tossed it to the floor. In the same movement, he straddled the smaller man, taking him by surprise.

Leaning down, he began to kiss him passionately. He spoke in between kisses. "I-am-going-to-fuck-you-tonight-because-I-said-so-brat."

Shuichi threw his weight to the side, so that he was now on top. "Na-ah. Tonight I am not gonna bottom. I'm gonna give you a buggering you'll never forget, Eiri Uesugi."


	4. Sick

**The Lost Years**

A/N This is 3 months after bells. It was in my other fanfic, but I thought itd be convenient to put it here as well.

Disclaimer: I own... nothing.

Warnings: M-preg, swearing, yeah, not much...

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Drabble 4: Sick.

Eiri felt terrible. Like complete and utter certified shit. His insides were shot, his outsides were worse, his face was green, and his mouth tasted like cow pat.

He once again began to retch, and just before the lumpy custard-like substance called vomit came out of hi mouth, he directed himself to the toilet bowl.

Shuichi walked quietly into the bathroom, to stand a metre behind him. He knew that Eiri got rather tetchy when he was unwell. "You okay, Eiri?"

"Oh, absolutely fan-fucking-tastic! I feel top of the world! I mean, throwing up every morning doesn't make me feel unwell at all!"

"Sorry." Shuichi grinned. "Have you been to the doctor."

There was a short silence, before. "...No."

"Then I'll take you!"

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An hour later, Shuichi was standing in Tokyo general hospital while Eiri had his check up. His head shot up from the position it had been in when he heard Eiri's yell.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

A few minutes later, a very disgruntled and not at all elegant or composed Eiri walked out of the room, looking ready to kill.

"What's the problem?" Shuichi queried whilst standing.

"It's your fault!" Eiri accused, while looking at the ground forcefully.

"What's my fault?" Shuichi placed his hands on his hips indignantly.

"I'm... pregnant."

"HOLY SHIT!"

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A/N Mwa ha ha!! Bet you didn't see that one coming!!! I'm so cool!! I love myself!! Other than that, I hoped you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it. And as I've noted before, it was extremely short, but well worth it!!!


	5. Eulogy

**The Lost Years**

A/N: Hey everybody! This was the third epilogue. If you're not an angst lover you might not like it... Anyway, I'm putting it in here 'cos it kinda belongs here. I know it doesn't go along with the story, but in this, yuki slept with kitazawa.

Disclaimer: Never mine. sobs

Warnings: M-preg, slash, character death.

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Drabble 5: Eulogy.

SHUICHI'S P.O.V.

I cry for him everyday. I cry for him every second. That's what I do nowadays. I live and I cry. Because he can't do either. My husband and love died at the young age of 40, in the year 2017. He was born in the year 1977, and lived an interesting life.

He killed 3 men at the age of 16. He wrote 74 bestselling novels. He separated from his family at the age of 18, and took on the name of a man he had killed. He had slept with over 300 women, and loved none of them. He had slept with 2 men, and loved both of them. All in all, that's all a life comes to. Numbers on a page.

Anyway, that's what I tell my son. What I tell him everyday, so that he'll know the truth about the man who bore him. The truth about the father he'll never meet.

I love my son. To me, he is perfect in every way. I don't care that he needs more attention than most children, or that he can't read or write at the age of 10. Because, he is special to me. Especially because he is blind.

It isn't a recessive defect. It's because Eiri smoked while pregnant. Smoking. It was the cause of his death as well. He died of respiratory failure. I always knew he shouldn't have smoked so much, but he was hooked, and I didn't make him stop. I'll always hate myself for not making him stop.

Everyday I miss him, and everyday I love him more, because what he gave me is so much more than what he took away. 2 lives for 1. Sometimes I think life's unfair, making the exchange. But it isn't, because it gave me him.

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Ta-da! A new drabble will be up soon. Ja matane! 


	6. Three

**The Lost Years**

A/N: I think that this drabble is a long time in coming, for anyone still reading this, and like people to know it was written at least half a year ago. I'm sorry that I'm slow. Set one week after bells.

Disclaimer: No, I own nothing, because I am a hobo...

Warnings: Swearing, m-preg, slash, out of character-ness (No, really).

Drabble 6: Three

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SHUICHI'S P.O.V.

"I love you, Eiri."

That's what I say every time I see him. "Hello Eiri, nice weather today, I love you," or "Eiri, I love you, do you think you could take out the trash?" I don't know why I say it so much, perhaps it's the soul of the artist within me, but I feel this need to say, over and over, so that he knows. Knows how I need him, how I live for him.

I whisper it softly to him as we're about to fall asleep, and I almost sing it to him in the morning when I wake up to his face. I chirp it when I'm making breakfast, and when I head off to 'work'. I say those words when I leap to hug him as I first get home. And as we once again fall asleep after our nightly exertions, during which I murmur it reverently and repeatedly, the cycle starts again, because, after all, I'll always love him completely.

We've been living together again for three months, and we've been married for one week, and the entire time I've told him constantly. Every time I see him is another mark on the tally. And though I say it, till it almost drives me crazy, not once do I hear it escape from his lips.

Each morning when I wake and begin my day of loving him, I give him my brightest smile and say the three words, waiting expectantly and apprehensively as he opens his eyes, and the most beautiful grin appears on his pale face, as if, as soon as he sees me, he knows that everything in his world is perfect. But in a flash it is gone, and he is scowling at me like I'm trailer trash like he usually does.

I know he finds it hard to express himself, but I don't think it's that hard to express these feelings. I mean, there's a pretty set formula for these situations. Just three little words that don't mean anything alone, but when put together, are like being given the world on a platter.

And it's not that I don't think he loves me. It's just that I long to hear him say the words. To know that he understands how I'm feeling, and to just show me the love that he feels. It makes me feel like he's not trying. Because he can't even be bothered to say three little words.

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SHUICHI'S PERSPECTIVE

Shuichi was humming to himself as he walked home. Upon reaching his house, he bounced to the door, opened it in the noisiest manner possible, and passed over the threshold. "Eiri! I'm home!"

"Welcome back, Shuichi." The cool voice passed through the walls, becoming muffled, and Shuichi assumed that Eiri was in the study. After a pause, Eiri's voice once again floated towards Shuichi through the house. "Is the brat with you?"

Shuichi huffed in annoyance, before calling back, "no, your 'daughter' is not with me." He stumbled along the hallway and through a door into the coolly lit study. After spotting Eiri, Shuichi galloped to the tired author, hugging him suffocatingly before sitting on his lap. "I love you Eiri," he whispered, before lightly kissing the rather tetchy blonde.

After pulling away, Shuichi stared Eiri directly in the eye, waiting impatiently for a response from him. But Eiri quickly broke the eye-contact, instead turning to read something on his computer behind Shuichi.

"Eiri..." Shuichi's voice was small, unsure.

"What?" Eiri smapped irritably.

Shuichi sniffed, tears coming easily to his eyes. "Eiri, say the three words."

Eiri looked at him questioningly. "What the fuck?"

Shuichi giggled slightly. "No, silly. Say that you love me."

"Why?" Eiri once again turned to his work, showing a firm disinterest in the topic of conversation.

Shuichi sighed and rested his head on Eiri's shoulder and began to play with the collar of his typically pink shirt. "Because I need to hear it."

Grunting in a non-committal way, Eiri deposited Shuichi on the floor and strode towards the door and freedom. "There's no point." His voice was low, sounding almost defeated, in a way.

"There is a point!" Shuichi stood, rooted to the spot as Eiri slowly and majestically turned to face him. "I need to hear it from you, to be absolutely sure that you love me!"

"No, you don't." It was so sudden, so flat, that Shuichi stopped his tirade instantly.

The tears began to pour down Shuichi's face, and he could feel the tracks they left in their wake. "Eiri, marriage is for life. How can I be with you for life if you can't even express one emotion to me?"

Eiri laughed drily. "Life is short."

"All the more reason to say it!" Eiri's words weighed on Shuichi's heart, but he pushed away his doubts to concentrate on the task at hand. "Eiri, please, tell me you love me."

Suddenly, Eiri strode over to Shuichi, grabbing him roughly and pulling him into a deep and passionate embrace. "Can't you feel it in everything I do?" Eiri's voice quivered with emotion as he whispered into Shuichi's ear. "Why should I say three stupid words, when the message they represent is being sent all the time? You mean everything to me. You're my life, my soul, my spirit and my fire.

"You're the person I wait for before making dinner, the person whose smile makes me feel alive, the person I want to hear snoring next to me for nights to come. Do you think that can be expressed in three words?" As Eiri drew back, he turned his face to the side in embarrassment, as if suddenly realising the magnitude of his recent confession.

Shuichi beamed, laughing inwardly at his own foolishness. He leant forward and quickly captured Eiri's lips in a chaste kiss. "Of course you can express all that. You just need to translate it to a message I understand."

Eyebrow raised in amusement, Eiri smirked slightly at the short man in front of him. "So, you need it in three words, is that it?" Eiri paused long enough for Shuichi to nod enthusiastically, before dropping his head level to Shuichi's his mouth a hair's breadth away from Shuichi wet pink lips. Lowering his mouth tantalisingly, he whispered, "come to bed?"

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A/N Well, bugger me if that didn't do a bit of a loop de loop and end up quite a bit different?


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